"When I write in emacs, it's inconvenient to share that with my team. When I write in the Wiki... well, I don't write in the wiki because it's annoying. I have been more productive doing X, and I think you will too."
In closing, I am trying to speak to customers... not engineers.
That's marketing speak for "I don't know who my customer is". You are pitching to a customer who is an engineer, so you should be speaking to engineers.
Thank you for the feedback. I know it took time to write.
I couldn't disagree with this comment more. You are not trying to sell your product to YC, you are trying to sell your company to YC. You do that by understanding your product and your customer and how you will bring the two together. Not by pretending some person in YC is suddenly your ideal customer and shifting your entire pitch around that.
"When I write in emacs, it's inconvenient to share that with my team. When I write in the Wiki... well, I don't write in the wiki because it's annoying. I have been more productive doing X, and I think you will too."
In closing, I am trying to speak to customers... not engineers.
That's marketing speak for "I don't know who my customer is". You are pitching to a customer who is an engineer, so you should be speaking to engineers.
Thank you for the feedback. I know it took time to write.
That's what we do here... this sounds hollow.